Tracee Ellis Ross is opening up about her dating life—and why she prefers younger men over those her own age. In a candid conversation on Michelle Obama’s The Light Podcast, the acclaimed actress shared her personal experiences with relationships, revealing that many older men are still stuck in outdated and toxic gender norms.
“Many men my age are deeply rooted in toxic masculinity and were brought up with rigid ideas about what a relationship should look like,” Ross explained.
She didn’t hold back when describing how past relationships left her feeling controlled and objectified.
“Anything that starts to smell of that, for me… I did enough of it where I was controlled and felt like I was a possession—or a prize. And I have no interest in it. I will not do it again. I’m sorry. No.”
“I’m Not Going to Bend, Break, or Babysit”
Ross, 51, emphasized that she’s not willing to compromise her sense of self for anyone:
“I’m not going to participate in relationships where I’m expected to bend, break, or babysit,” she stated firmly.
Her remarks reflect the mindset of many modern women who are choosing freedom, self-respect, and emotional safety over traditional relationship dynamics.
Grieving the Life She Imagined
During the same episode, Ross and Michelle Obama also touched on a deeper emotional truth: the grief that can come with not having a traditional family.
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“I grieve the things I thought would be, but aren’t,” Ross admitted. “I’m not married. I don’t have children… and there are moments when I grieve that.”
Mrs. Obama offered words of compassion, saying:
“That’s the pain of being a liberated woman. Having the choice doesn’t mean the grief doesn’t exist.”
